Natasha's Notebook

From dream to reality in less than a year

Natasha — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 09:37:23 +0000

EVER wondered how certain people are able to become their own boss and set up their own company?
It always astonishes me when I see courageous, young people in particular ‘go it alone’ and take risks to succeed through sheer determination and hard work.
Meet Matylda
One such person is Matylda Setlak, who set up Setlak PR, a public relations company specialising in Polish consumers and products, in late 2006. Matylda had only been in England for nine months, yet she spotted a gap in the PR market and sought to fill it.
Matylda was only 27-years-old at the time and she researched all she needed to know about running a company, here in the UK. The Polish graduate in - history, journalism and communications, advertising and public relations - from the renowned Jagiellonian University in Krakow, lacked managerial experience, having at most worked as a press officer in the Polish NHS.
Time for change
In addition, Matylda worked as a freelance journalist for a number of local Krakow titles, writing about student life and social issues. This was all after graduating in 2005. Matylda says: “I was not 100% happy with my career, neither was my then boyfriend, now husband Michal. He was a psychology graduate but struggled to find a job which met his expectations, that is why we decided to move to the UK, two years after Poland joined the EU.”
However, lack of substantial experience was not going to get in the way of this ambitious young lady and she describes the moment which changed her life, when she decided to be her own boss: “After coming to the UK in 2006, I was doing a couple of odd jobs like data entry in the back office of a major UK bank and later working as a waitress on a first-class train travelling between Birmingham and London.
Someone else
“I was serving coffee and tea to wealthy businessmen travelling with their Dell laptops and ‘The Da Vinci Code’ novel in their hands. Many times, when I was serving full English breakfast, I was feeling as if it was not me, just somebody else.
“I had that strange feeling of inadequacy. I was wearing an ugly red uniform which I really hated and thought that I should not be there, that this was not my place. Then a couple of months later, I flew to Poland for my final university exams and I met up with my university peers.
“That is when I decided to quit, take a risk and set up a PR consultancy, specialising in communicating with the Polish community in the UK. The number of Poles were growing at the time.
Risk
“A few months earlier, I had met somebody who shared this business idea but I just needed the courage to do it. Going back to Poland and talking to my university friends, I found the strength to do it. I took the risk.”
While still at school Matylda loved reading books and she always loved to write. In addition she studied English diligently. And who knew that years later, she would really needed those language skills.
Lots to learn
Although her English was good, she still needed to improve. In addition Matylda had to learn and research British business culture and how to set up a business from scratch, this involved building her media and business contacts.
This was not always straight forward, Matylda explains: “At the beginning there was nobody who could support me or give me advice. I had to learn the hard way, from my own mistakes. It was painful sometimes. I started to read books on business and attend workshops and found a business mentor and this helped me alot.”
Success at last
However the highs definitely outweigh the lows because three years on, Setlak PR has won countless business deals including the Scottish Tides-Polish Spring account in 2008. This big-budget project lasted half a year and was a major success for Matylda’s company.
In addition Setlak PR has promoted several, top Polish artists with their gigs over here, as well as Polish comedians, Polish political parties and played a major role in a National Minimum Wage (NMW) campaign, informing Eastern Europeans in particular about the NMW and holiday entitlements.

Italian woman tells English woman why she prefers a single rose

Natasha — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 00:22:31 +0000

WHILE staying at my late grandmother’s village last week, situated in the outskirts of Naples, I played translator between an Italian and an English wife.
Men
And the subject of the conversation? Their Men! It all started on the last night of our stay when my mother’s cousin brought us to a restaurant where we sampled the area’s finest dishes.
A Taste
After our meal Paolo and Francesca, close friends of the family, popped by to say hello. As we all sat at the table, Francesca gave her partner Paolo a taste of the food she had just tried with the spoon she used to eat from herself.
Shock
Now, my aunty Jane, an English woman married to my mother’s brother gasped in disbelief. The subject of her shock? Francesca’s pride in feeding her man in public.
The discussion which took place next between the two women, lasted over an hour and it went something like this:
Jane: “In England women do not feed their husbands or boyfriends in public.”
Francesca: “Why ever not?! There is nothing wrong with letting your partner taste something you like and want to share.”
Jane: “But it looks so, so degrading.”
Francesca: “Nonsense! What about feeding your children? Do you think that is degrading also?”
Jane: “Totally! There is no way I’d share my spoon with my children or anyone, it’s disgusting. My cutlery is for my use only! Do you not have women’s rights here?”
Francesca: (after an explanation of women’s rights) “Sure we do but it doesn’t mean we avoid showing affection to our loved ones. I suppose you detest seeing two lovers in public holding hands or cuddling?”
Jane: “Most definitely. I always say get a room!”
Francesca: “You know, Italian women love affection and romance. If there were two men and one gave me 100 red roses and another gave me a single red rose, which he had to steel, guess which one I’d prefer?
“The latter, you know why? Because the one who had to steel the rose risked far more in obtaining the gift for me.”
Jane: “Okay, That’s just nuts!”

God’s Waiting Room

Natasha — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 18:24:59 +0000

A report published this week revealed that thousands of patients dying in hospital are not getting the care they deserve because of poor communication between medical staff.
Just four weeks ago my family witnessed our grandmother die in hospital and the whole episode as you can imagine was highly heartbreaking.
Gloomy
Angelina Santangelo had spent over one month dying in a ward with other elderly women, too weak to stay awake at times.
Each visit to my grandmother’s ward was becoming more and more gloomy. There was one co-patient in particular with Alzheimer’s we believe, who constantly repeated demands like:
“Will someone please tell me when me when the bus gets here, my husband will be worrying about me,” and “Oh my legs, will you give me some of those tablets I had last night, they really helped me, please nurse, I had a good night’s sleep last night” and her laments would go on and on.
Whatsa matter you, ah shuddup you face
At one point, when my spirited grandmother was first admitted, exacerbated she yelled: “shut-up” to which her talkative co-patient replied: “who said that? I’ll sue you!”
My family’s concerns deepened when our Angelina took a turn for the worse and she was back on the old oxygen mask to help her breathe.
Who knows?
My mother asked the senior doctor in charge of her mother if she would get better or worse. And his reply consisted of the following remark: “If I were to cross the road and get hit by a bus would I make it through? We do not know.”
Let me stay at home!
So, to an already distressed daughter this only made my mother feel worse which is perhaps why one of the report’s outcomes, titled Caring to the End? - about 60 percent of deaths in England occur in hospital, although two thirds of patients would rather die at home.

The future is direct-to-the-public

Natasha — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 07:23:09 +0000

MY recent feature on Essential Writers.com lamented the plight of the freelance journalist.
It is a case of survival-of-the-fittest out there for freelancers who are never too sure where their next paycheque is going to come from.
Amazing
However, an amazing development has taken place in America and it comes in the shape of www.futurity.org
This website has been set up by a total of 35 research universities and together they publish discoveries made by their scientists directly to the public, cutting out the middleman - newspapers.
Shift
The reason I describe this as amazing is that it represents a shift, away from the almost monopoly-like, big name media outlets, towards a more grass-roots type of communication.
In turn, this avoids distorted information and specially selected stories which support a newspaper’s agenda.
What’s your agenda?
When I read the Daily Mail for example, I often feel like a fuddy duddy who would prefer to be living in the conform-loving 1950s is lecturing us by the stories it chooses to publish.
Take a look at these headlines from Tuesday 27 October, 2009: Downs’ cases soar as women delay a family; B&Q to teach DIY because Dad’s too busy; Yes, children DO make you happier; and these are all before page 11.
The future
Futurity.org separates its research stories into Earth & Environment, Health & Medicine, Science & Design and Society & Culture.
The academic brains behind the website state that the reason they created futurity.org was because there were not enough research stories in the mainstream media, due newspapers cutting back on science pages and reporters.
Direct to the public
This amazing development signifies a drop in power for these mega-bucks media moguls. So freelancers go forth and be creative in the way you communicate – the future is the likes of futurity.

A letter to the Pope

Natasha — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 17:39:13 +0000

Your Holiness, Pope Benedict XVI,

It is with great pleasure I write to you but unfortunately the matter I wish to raise is not particularly pleasurable. You see I disagree with your decision to welcome all those Anglican leaders into the Roman Catholic faith, which is indeed my own religion from birth.
Reasons
The reasons they wish to enter the Catholic Church is because they disagree with women becoming Bishops within the Anglican Church.
Please do not get me wrong, I am not asking for women to become Bishops or priests in the Catholic Church, this is for another letter, but surely the message you give in accepting our Anglican brothers and sisters include:
‘Yes, you can become Catholic, not because you want to be Catholic but because you want to make a point to the Bishops who have decided to accept a decision you disagree with.
You rebel priests you
‘Yes, you can become Catholic, and when you disagree with a decision we make? Well we’ll deal with that later, you rebel priests, you.
‘Yes, you can become Catholic, we have had a number of child-abuse scandals but this is not as bad as having a holy person who is not a man, preside over a Mass.’
You are in my prayers dear Holy Father, forget the politics and listen to your heart.

Love after death

Natasha — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 17:25:10 +0000

A STORY which grabbed my attention this week was the sad, unsolved murder case of Vikki Thompson, the mother of two who was found beaten to death after walking the family dog near her home in Oxfordshire in August 1995.
A 34-year old man has been arrested in relation to this case due to advances in technology and is in custody.
The aspect which stirred me about this tale of loss was the fact that her husband, Jonathan later married Vikki’s best friend, a Mrs Simpson.
Best friend
To lose a partner is a huge loss and I simply cannot imagine how someone even starts to come to terms with it. But it did make me question what my husband would do.
You see it is very hard to imagine your parner with anyone else apart from you, because we like to think we are the last person our partners will ever be with.
We can accept past relationships but not so much the relationships which come after us.
Three months?
And when I later read a letter sent to You magazine’s Zelda West-Meads, from a man asking the agony aunt if three months is too soon to start dating his late fiancee’s sister, well I had to note it down in my notebook.

Our favourite memories of Angelina Santangelo, 14 April 1926-14 October 2009

Natasha — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 10:23:42 +0000

MY beloved grandmother died last Wednesday. Her funeral was three days ago and here is the Eulogy which my uncle Rino read at the end of the wonderful service presided by Padre Carmelo at the Italian Church…

Angelina’s Children

• Her laughter and her wonderful warmth I will cherish forever. She was such a generous person. She put everyone before herself. Angelina was a very kind person. She worked hard and she lived for her family. The sacrifices she made just puts my everyday moaning to shame. She thrived and thoroughly enjoyed giving all she could to her family.
I used to tease her sometimes and pull her hat over her face and wait to see her get all flustered. She simply got on with things; there was never a stumbling block. For a little person ~ she was a giant.
I gave her so much grief, just as any lively son gives his mother growing-up. While out shopping at her usual Angel Market, all those years ago, I knew that if I asked her to buy me a toy in English rather than in Italian, she would not be able to say no because everyone around would have heard me. How she would get upset with me.
Everyone who came into contact with Angelina, loved her, even her lodgers from those years ago when both Angelina and Gennaro rented out rooms to Italian students through the Italian Church.
She held Padre Carmelo in great esteem. When Padre Carmelo came home to eat one Sunday, she was on Cloud Nine for a month. (And she made sure all the other Consorelle knew about it.)

• And who can forget that practical joke played on her - a true example of her desire to accommodate everyone - when a certain family member pretended to be Padre Carmelo and phoned to say there were two students arriving that night from Italy and needed a room.
Ten minutes later ‘Padre Carmelo’ called again to say the two had risen to six. A little time after, another phone call told Angelina that there were now twenty Italian young men to be accommodated in her house!
How they all laughed when ‘Padre Carmelo’ replied to Angelina’s panic regarding their comfort ‘ahh.. not to worry Angelina, half of them are short so you can put them on top of wardrobes – they are not fussy, really!’

• I have a life-time of happy memories thanks to her. Whether she was upset or happy, one thing always remained – love. There is a phrase in Italian ‘e’ una roccia di amore’, (She was a rock of love). During her last few years, the woman I used to go to for advice was not the same person due to illness and old age. I really missed her point her views on my concerns.

• I will always remember her being happy. At times she would get upset and that was all part of her character. She was full of love and was always laughing and joking around. I used to wind her up as any son does to their mother I suppose. She was full of life and happiness. She always looked-after others.

• What she meant to me is indescribable. She was the most wonderful, honest, generous mother anyone could hope to have. And her generosity knew no limits. She’s the best, above the rest!
I will never forget the time we all went to Italy and I was expecting Natasha. As my mum boarded the plane via the adjoining tunnel she asked out loud: “Goodness, is all of this flying with us to Italy?” And my dad responded, in the classic way he always used to tease her: “This silly woman! If we went by ship she would probably think the whole port would depart with us?!”

• She was a tough old girl and very strong. My mum had to fight for everything in her life and she worked for her family. She tried everything. And above all – love. My mum was all giving and she treated all of us the same. There was absolutely no malice in her. She was a really good person, a great lady. I do not know one person who did not like my mum. She was good hearted and I miss her for that. She had lots of friends. Where-ever she went, people knew her. I cannot remember her having a row with any of her friends.

Angelina’s daughter-in-laws

• I loved to go shopping with her. She provided me with great comfort; when I left Italy at the age of 17 to live here… she was not a mother-in-law to me, she was a mother. In fact I used to call her ‘mum’. I am going to miss her so much. Her legacy is Love. I know she wanted her family to become as one again.

• The way she watched football was a spectacle in itself. She would get so excited when Italy or Napoli or England played. Considering she was quite frail towards her later years it was so funny to watch – she did like her football.

The way she used to tease Isabella about taking Jack to Italy with her. First she would ask Isabella if she wanted to go to Italy with her and when Isabella would reply ‘no’ she would say ‘ok I’m taking Jack’. Isabella would then protest: ‘my Jack’ and Angelina would then reply: ‘your Jack? Did you make him?’ ~ she always had the best last lines.

The first Italian word I learnt thanks to Angelina was ‘mangia, mangia’ (eat, eat). It was her catchphrase!

She loved her house being full of people. When we moved house, we needed a place to live, while our new home was being installed with central-heating. Both Angelina and Gennaro put us up and to me, this was a complete and amazing act of kindness.

And the way she accepted Jack, my son from a previous relationship, into her heart and family was, well, I will never forget it.

Angelina’s grandchildren

• I will always remember Nonna taking me to the shop when I was a child and buying me a huge Cornetto. She was always warm and lovely. Nonna always had a cuddle at the ready and a big welcoming smile on her face.

• On Saturdays I used to go shopping with her, to her usual Angel Market. It was quite a scene to see her speaking in Italian to all the stall holders and them replying ‘yes mum’ ~ everyone called her mum.

• During the last few years, when Nonna wasn’t as strong as she used to be, when-ever I used to sit with her she would turn to me and say: “when I get some money I am going to buy you something special”. I knew this was her way of saying thank-you.
She would then go on: “Anyone who hurts you – I will kill them”. She would get so excited whenever mummy would buy her a new necklace and also whenever Uncle Angelo would buy her an ice-cream.

Nonna would always ask me what year I am at school and then go on to say how she came top of her class each year and even made it to secondary school.

• I always remember Nonna at her home, watching her programmes and game-shows. She was always offering cups of tea and she was full of love. She had a great sense of humour and was always laughing. She had a very honest love.

• Nonna and Nonno took me in for a few months. I will never forget that. Nonna would always offer me money and of course food and cups of tea. She just made me feel completely at ease and at home. That time I spent with them was special and I will always treasure the memory.

• If I had to describe the word ‘grandmother’ ~ I would say ‘Angelina Santangelo, my Nonna’. She had the ability to make you feel so ‘at home’ and looked-after. My Nonna was like chicken soup for the soul. I have so many memories of Nonna and through those recollections I will always feel her love and she will make me smile for the rest of my life.

I have such a vivid memory of being about three years old, we were at her big old house in Carysford Road, I had ventured upstairs and somehow got very scared when it came to making my way down. Suddenly those steps seemed like mini mountains to climb down. So I cried and called out to her and sure enough she appeared instantly. She came and helped me down so that I wasn’t scared anymore.

In no time at all, it seems, I found myself helping her down the stairs in our house. It is amazing how outstretched arms can make all the difference. I just hope my arms gave her even an ounce of the security she gave to me - then I know I would have repaid her somehow.

May her peace-loving ways be an example to us all… Angelina ~ rest in peace.

Tell us something we don’t know

Natasha — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 19:15:23 +0000

APPARENTLY there is an imminent documentary to be screened on Channel Four regarding a number of put-up jobs devised by the channel to see if the red-tops believed their lies about celebrities.
Mayhem
Actors for the show phoned the show-biz pages with made-up stories of mayhem at certain celebrity home-parties, for example.
And what they found was not only did the journalists on these publications not check the validity of these tales but they also added made-up quotes from ‘a chum’ or ‘a friend’.
Mistake
What I cannot get over is this: does Channel Four think we do not know this already? A mistake the media sometimes make - is that they think that the public is stupider than they are.

Enough to make your eyes water

Natasha — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 19:13:00 +0000

ACCORDING to one of Britain’s top business woman, excessive maternity leave and eye-watering sex discrimination payouts could backfire on women.
The newspapers reported this week that Nicola Pease, deputy chairman of JO Hambro capital management denied allegations of sexism in the City, claiming most women did not rise through the ranks because of their own choices rather than any prejudice against them.
Moneyed mother of three
I could not believe my eyes when I read what this moneyed, mother of three told the Treasury Select Committee meeting. This woman, who together with her hedge fund manager husband is worth £204 million, went on to say that although women in the workplace were ‘a really capable, practical and driven bunch of multi-taskers’ – bosses might be reluctant to employ them for fear they could go on to have lots of children supported by over-generous maternity leave.
Scandalous
Now, I am only repeating her scandalous words to condemn them. If I were a newspaper editor I would not even report her ridiculous comments for horror that it may seep into the consciousness of even one boss out there, be it man or woman.
Since the beginning of this year, I have been working at a University where I am very happy. It is a great place to work. My colleagues are all such intelligent, caring and reasonable people.
Short sightedness
And I would not be there if it was not for a woman who went on maternity leave. So I wonder what Mrs Pease would say about that? Surely she would not have it that people were unemployed rather than winning an opportunity to cover someone’s maternity leave with the chance of impressing bosses that they keep you on. Such short-sightedness – this makes my eyes water!

A wonderful message to all women everywhere

Natasha — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 06:56:41 +0000

In this exclusive interview, Susan Schachterle author of The Bitch, The Crone and The Harlot explains why all women should embrace growing older. And for the record, the Bitch is a woman who can make things happen but without visiting devastation on the people and situations around her. The second is the Crone who is a repository for all the wisdom and experience she has won in her earlier struggles. And the Harlot notices every delightful sensory experience who absorbs the beauty around her rather than being distracted by the frantic pace of her youth.

Change is in the air
There is a change happening in society and I do not think us ‘younger women’ quite realise it yet.
You may have noticed stories and pictures in the press of mature women celebrities on the arm of their much younger man.
Madonna, 50, is now dating 22-year-old Jesus. Carol McGiffin from TV show Loose Women is engaged to Mark, 22 years her junior. And of course there are the other famous toy-boy marriages - Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher and Barbara Windor and Scott Mitchell.
What does this tell us?
It tells us that these men are interested in something beyond beauty. Like an apple which is at its juiciest when fully ripe, these men seem to have found something similar in their woman companions.
For Susan Schachterle, author of The Bitch, The Crone and The Harlot, something stirred when she began noticing people referring to her as ‘mam’, a mark of respect in the US. ‘Mam’ was a form of address people used when referring to her mother and grandmother!
Invisible
Susan then noticed the women she counselled and coached were quite negative about reaching the mid point in their lives. “They would say things like ‘I’m getting older I should let the younger women take over’. And ‘people used to notice me and were interested in what I thought and felt, now I just feel invisible,’” Susan told me in the lobby of her hotel in South Kensington recently during her European tour, where she had been researching for her two new books out in the autumn.
Link arms
Susan was shocked because these women all felt they had outlived their usefulness when in fact “they were at a point in their lives when they knew more than they had ever known! They should be giving their gifts of wisdom to the world. Research shows there are well over 100 million of women in the over-40 age bracket across the planet. But because society up until now has said ‘you are no longer attractive’ at this age women have believed it. But this has to change and it can if we all link arms and by doing so we can change the criteria society uses to evaluate a woman.”
From external to internal
Susan went on to explain that during the first half of a woman’s life we are identified by our external factors “who I marry, the house I live in, how much money I have, my friends. However at the mid point we must go within and find our own criteria. It’s an opportunity to begin living a life which is much more internal in focus by finding her wisdom, a personal power.
“And discovering a different kind of sensuality, which means ‘of the senses’. By opening up our senses we take in more information and through our senses we learn. Like noticing that little flower growing in the crack of the sidewalk. We are then more available to ‘joy’ which is a full body experience and not intellectual in nature.”
that ‘je ne sais quoi’
Susan has a presence about her which makes you think ‘wow I want to be like her when I’m older’. She is indeed beautiful but there is that ‘je ne sais quoi’ which has to be due to her understanding the feminine gifts that the world could really do with receiving at the moment. “We are born with gifts of the feminine and at the mid point of a woman’s life ~ they are ‘full blown’.
In her book, The Bitch, the Crone and the Harlot she gives step by step ways of reaching this ‘full blown’ womanhood; which I think if put into motion by all women… should blow the socks off the patriarchy.
Step by step
And here she gives an outline: “The first step a woman can do is change her mindset. She must think ‘I now have more to offer than I ever have in my life’. By living and becoming these agents of change people will start receiving them differently, because they will emit a different kind of energy and so people will react differently. This is what I refer to in the book as power, wisdom, sensuality and awareness.”
Gifts
Susan said that the next step involves women being willing to bring these gifts into the world. “Women carry immense power which is why in some societies women are kept lowly. This is what happens in societies where that power is misunderstood and women are seen as a threat. So they make sure women do not give full exposure to those gifts.”
However Susan believes we can start to bring the full force of those gifts to the world. “I firmly believe that women are natural leaders and natural healers. Look at all those single-parent families headed by women or support groups. I believe firmly when women choose to remember who they really are and bring their gifts into the world they become agents of healing.”
Some issues just come naturally to a woman
She goes on to explain that women would handle certain global issues much better than how they are currently operating. A woman, mindful of her healing gifts would never use political action or military force to resolve a conflict according to Susan. And issues such as homelessness, poverty, hunger, war, ecological and climate change, abuse on women and children would be better handled by someone aware of the gifts of the feminine, which is something that comes natural to all women.
Lovely phrases
Susan adds: “To begin this healing process we must start by beginning to remind ourselves who we are and access those gifts in ourselves.” Susan shares a prophecy by the Hopi Native American Tribe: “When grandmothers speak the earth will be healed”. She explains this is because the feminine energy is a healing energy.
In addition she gives the Ethiopian proverb: “When spider webs join together they can tie up a lion”.
Sisters are doing it for themselves
In her book Susan gives a number of examples of women who have individually changed countless lives because they refused to sit back comfortably and say ‘someone should do something’. “Women must give up the old message ‘you are no longer valuable’ and take heed from women such as Madonna, Carol McGiffin, Demi Moore and Barbara Windsor… their men know the worth of a ripened women. I think it is time our mothers and grandmothers do the same. Because you know what? We younger women will one day be in their well travelled shoes… Isn’t it great we have a head start?
Susan’s next two books, out at the end 2009
a) Ripened Women, women of a certain age changing the world and how you can too
b) Women as Leaders, Women as Healers
And her current book can be bought at: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Bitch-Crone-Harlot-Reclaiming-Feminine/dp/1600700187/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1237330503&sr=1-1