EVER wondered how certain people are able to become their own boss and set up their own company?
It always astonishes me when I see courageous, young people in particular ‘go it alone’ and take risks to succeed through sheer determination and hard work.
Meet Matylda
One such person is Matylda Setlak, who set up Setlak PR, a public relations company specialising in Polish consumers and products, in late 2006. Matylda had only been in England for nine months, yet she spotted a gap in the PR market and sought to fill it.
Matylda was only 27-years-old at the time and she researched all she needed to know about running a company, here in the UK. The Polish graduate in - history, journalism and communications, advertising and public relations - from the renowned Jagiellonian University in Krakow, lacked managerial experience, having at most worked as a press officer in the Polish NHS.
Time for change
In addition, Matylda worked as a freelance journalist for a number of local Krakow titles, writing about student life and social issues. This was all after graduating in 2005. Matylda says: “I was not 100% happy with my career, neither was my then boyfriend, now husband Michal. He was a psychology graduate but struggled to find a job which met his expectations, that is why we decided to move to the UK, two years after Poland joined the EU.”
However, lack of substantial experience was not going to get in the way of this ambitious young lady and she describes the moment which changed her life, when she decided to be her own boss: “After coming to the UK in 2006, I was doing a couple of odd jobs like data entry in the back office of a major UK bank and later working as a waitress on a first-class train travelling between Birmingham and London.
Someone else
“I was serving coffee and tea to wealthy businessmen travelling with their Dell laptops and ‘The Da Vinci Code’ novel in their hands. Many times, when I was serving full English breakfast, I was feeling as if it was not me, just somebody else.
“I had that strange feeling of inadequacy. I was wearing an ugly red uniform which I really hated and thought that I should not be there, that this was not my place. Then a couple of months later, I flew to Poland for my final university exams and I met up with my university peers.
“That is when I decided to quit, take a risk and set up a PR consultancy, specialising in communicating with the Polish community in the UK. The number of Poles were growing at the time.
Risk
“A few months earlier, I had met somebody who shared this business idea but I just needed the courage to do it. Going back to Poland and talking to my university friends, I found the strength to do it. I took the risk.”
While still at school Matylda loved reading books and she always loved to write. In addition she studied English diligently. And who knew that years later, she would really needed those language skills.
Lots to learn
Although her English was good, she still needed to improve. In addition Matylda had to learn and research British business culture and how to set up a business from scratch, this involved building her media and business contacts.
This was not always straight forward, Matylda explains: “At the beginning there was nobody who could support me or give me advice. I had to learn the hard way, from my own mistakes. It was painful sometimes. I started to read books on business and attend workshops and found a business mentor and this helped me alot.”
Success at last
However the highs definitely outweigh the lows because three years on, Setlak PR has won countless business deals including the Scottish Tides-Polish Spring account in 2008. This big-budget project lasted half a year and was a major success for Matylda’s company.
In addition Setlak PR has promoted several, top Polish artists with their gigs over here, as well as Polish comedians, Polish political parties and played a major role in a National Minimum Wage (NMW) campaign, informing Eastern Europeans in particular about the NMW and holiday entitlements.

In this exclusive interview, Susan Schachterle author of The Bitch, The Crone and The Harlot explains why all women should embrace growing older. And for the record, the Bitch is a woman who can make things happen but without visiting devastation on the people and situations around her. The second is the Crone who is a repository for all the wisdom and experience she has won in her earlier struggles. And the Harlot notices every delightful sensory experience who absorbs the beauty around her rather than being distracted by the frantic pace of her youth.

Change is in the air
There is a change happening in society and I do not think us ‘younger women’ quite realise it yet.
You may have noticed stories and pictures in the press of mature women celebrities on the arm of their much younger man.
Madonna, 50, is now dating 22-year-old Jesus. Carol McGiffin from TV show Loose Women is engaged to Mark, 22 years her junior. And of course there are the other famous toy-boy marriages - Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher and Barbara Windor and Scott Mitchell.
What does this tell us?
It tells us that these men are interested in something beyond beauty. Like an apple which is at its juiciest when fully ripe, these men seem to have found something similar in their woman companions.
For Susan Schachterle, author of The Bitch, The Crone and The Harlot, something stirred when she began noticing people referring to her as ‘mam’, a mark of respect in the US. ‘Mam’ was a form of address people used when referring to her mother and grandmother!
Invisible
Susan then noticed the women she counselled and coached were quite negative about reaching the mid point in their lives. “They would say things like ‘I’m getting older I should let the younger women take over’. And ‘people used to notice me and were interested in what I thought and felt, now I just feel invisible,’” Susan told me in the lobby of her hotel in South Kensington recently during her European tour, where she had been researching for her two new books out in the autumn.
Link arms
Susan was shocked because these women all felt they had outlived their usefulness when in fact “they were at a point in their lives when they knew more than they had ever known! They should be giving their gifts of wisdom to the world. Research shows there are well over 100 million of women in the over-40 age bracket across the planet. But because society up until now has said ‘you are no longer attractive’ at this age women have believed it. But this has to change and it can if we all link arms and by doing so we can change the criteria society uses to evaluate a woman.”
From external to internal
Susan went on to explain that during the first half of a woman’s life we are identified by our external factors “who I marry, the house I live in, how much money I have, my friends. However at the mid point we must go within and find our own criteria. It’s an opportunity to begin living a life which is much more internal in focus by finding her wisdom, a personal power.
“And discovering a different kind of sensuality, which means ‘of the senses’. By opening up our senses we take in more information and through our senses we learn. Like noticing that little flower growing in the crack of the sidewalk. We are then more available to ‘joy’ which is a full body experience and not intellectual in nature.”
that ‘je ne sais quoi’
Susan has a presence about her which makes you think ‘wow I want to be like her when I’m older’. She is indeed beautiful but there is that ‘je ne sais quoi’ which has to be due to her understanding the feminine gifts that the world could really do with receiving at the moment. “We are born with gifts of the feminine and at the mid point of a woman’s life ~ they are ‘full blown’.
In her book, The Bitch, the Crone and the Harlot she gives step by step ways of reaching this ‘full blown’ womanhood; which I think if put into motion by all women… should blow the socks off the patriarchy.
Step by step
And here she gives an outline: “The first step a woman can do is change her mindset. She must think ‘I now have more to offer than I ever have in my life’. By living and becoming these agents of change people will start receiving them differently, because they will emit a different kind of energy and so people will react differently. This is what I refer to in the book as power, wisdom, sensuality and awareness.”
Gifts
Susan said that the next step involves women being willing to bring these gifts into the world. “Women carry immense power which is why in some societies women are kept lowly. This is what happens in societies where that power is misunderstood and women are seen as a threat. So they make sure women do not give full exposure to those gifts.”
However Susan believes we can start to bring the full force of those gifts to the world. “I firmly believe that women are natural leaders and natural healers. Look at all those single-parent families headed by women or support groups. I believe firmly when women choose to remember who they really are and bring their gifts into the world they become agents of healing.”
Some issues just come naturally to a woman
She goes on to explain that women would handle certain global issues much better than how they are currently operating. A woman, mindful of her healing gifts would never use political action or military force to resolve a conflict according to Susan. And issues such as homelessness, poverty, hunger, war, ecological and climate change, abuse on women and children would be better handled by someone aware of the gifts of the feminine, which is something that comes natural to all women.
Lovely phrases
Susan adds: “To begin this healing process we must start by beginning to remind ourselves who we are and access those gifts in ourselves.” Susan shares a prophecy by the Hopi Native American Tribe: “When grandmothers speak the earth will be healed”. She explains this is because the feminine energy is a healing energy.
In addition she gives the Ethiopian proverb: “When spider webs join together they can tie up a lion”.
Sisters are doing it for themselves
In her book Susan gives a number of examples of women who have individually changed countless lives because they refused to sit back comfortably and say ‘someone should do something’. “Women must give up the old message ‘you are no longer valuable’ and take heed from women such as Madonna, Carol McGiffin, Demi Moore and Barbara Windsor… their men know the worth of a ripened women. I think it is time our mothers and grandmothers do the same. Because you know what? We younger women will one day be in their well travelled shoes… Isn’t it great we have a head start?
Susan’s next two books, out at the end 2009
a) Ripened Women, women of a certain age changing the world and how you can too
b) Women as Leaders, Women as Healers
And her current book can be bought at: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Bitch-Crone-Harlot-Reclaiming-Feminine/dp/1600700187/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1237330503&sr=1-1

Natasha’s Notebook talks to a mother-of-three with a sad tale to tell…

It all began six months after Mathew was born, I was 34-years-old and I started to get pins and needles in one of my legs.
To be on the safe side I went to my doctor to get it checked out but nothing of any significance was diagnosed. I was told to keep a diary of when the pins and needles occurred.
Growing brood
The years rolled by and I threw myself into motherhood. Mathew, who is now 13, was the youngest of three and I thoroughly enjoyed taking care of my growing brood.
Sarah and Catherine were lovely girls and my husband and I both worked hard to ensure we had the financial security to look after our children.
I was a teacher in a Prep school to nine and ten year olds; any older than this and they tended to be taller than me and this was a ‘no-no’ in my book!
In the beginning
I had also loved being pregnant with my children. Sarah, my first child was 8lbs when she was born, Catherine was 6lbs and Mathew 7lbs. Despite being a petite woman, I ended up having a 49 inch waist at my very biggest!
Graham was a good husband to start off with. I remember when he proposed to me, it was by a lake which shared my name. He asked: “Shall we formalise it?”
I was young and so in love with this man who liked to spend all his spare time with me and so I said ‘yes’. However never in a million years could I have imagined what marriage had in store for me.
Reality
Graham had a strong bond with his mother, whom in later years I nicked-named ‘the wicked witch’. When our first girl was born, the first thing his mother said was ‘shame it wasn’t a boy’. She said the same thing when our second girl was born. Girls are second-class citizens in his familys’ eyes!
I nick-named his father ‘post-box’, because lots of information went in but nothing came out.
They all dote on Peter, Graham’s younger brother who served in the Army and still keeps his uniform on display as a sort of memento.
Health problems
By the time Mathew turned ten my health started to deteriorate. I began to loose my balance on a regular basis. I would fall or trip over easily. I generally felt clumsy.
My doctor referred me to a neurologist and I had an MI scan. The scan confirmed I had Multiple Sclerosis. Soon after that, I was told I was not allowed to drive anymore and this led to me having to quit my job.
However this was just as well because the children at the school I was at and in particular the class I taught were aggressive. Together with my worsening condition it was getting unbearable.
Worse and worse
At home I tried the best I could to clean and cook but it got too much and we hired home help. During all this time Graham grew more and more impatient with my clumsiness.
He continues to shout at me in front of the children and who ever happens to be around when I can’t do things. Instead of receiving the love and attention I need during my illness, Graham has made me feel worse. I often cry.
I have tried to reason with him: “I did not choose to get MS. I didn’t behave irresponsibly so as to contribute to my current condition. I just got it!” But to no avail. Graham continued to treat me harshly. It was as though he couldn’t cope with seeing his once-capable wife turn into a needy victim of this muscle-deteriorating disease.
So cheated
I feel so cheated and rejected by him. He has made me so cross. In our marriage vows we made to one another it says ‘to love and cherish each other in sickness and in health’ but I don’t think Graham could have ever imaged this would happen to me.
Graham belongs to the Freemasons and one of their beliefs is to stick together, and he has had no trouble with that. Yet to stick with his wife during the bad times was too much.
Parents to the rescue
Anyway, things got too much and I had to move in with my elderly parents because I was getting no help at home. It was as though this illness was my fault. Graham took the kids to live near his parents. I live with my parents now and I do not see my children as often as I would like.
I have recently had a bout of physiotherapy which really helped my condition. One woman at the centre where I had my treatment is quite crippled with MS, yet her husband visited her day in and day out. And I thought sadly ‘why couldn’t my Graham be like him’.
Life goes on
I find many things too tiring, even cutting up my meat, which my 79-year-old father does for me. I used to love dancing when I was young, now I have my tapestry when I feel up to it and I sometimes listen to audio books.
I often reminisce and remember how I taught Mathew how to ride a bike; that was during the early stages of my MS. It’s important that children learn how to swim and ride a bike.
Hope?
Did I tell you I have only been on one holiday in my life? That was to Cyprus and Egypt on our honeymoon. I don’t know what the future holds but I do know this: I know that my second daughter Catherine often asks ‘what is daddy doing? The way he treats mummy is so bad’. So I know my children are good people who will not make others cross the way their father has made me!

Cherie and Tony Blair
Married for 19 years this March; Cherie in her autobiography Speaking for Myself published last May revealed Tony and her would spend hours talking about God when they were courting and she believed this is what drew them together.

In addition his “very confirmed views on marriage… He genuinely thought that two people could be together for life. Having seen what happened to my mum, it seemed like a wonderful thing to aim for…”

Victoria and David Beckham
In July, the Beckhams celebrate their tenth wedding anniversary. The world-famous footballer has said of his marriage: “People can say what they like. But me and Victoria will always stay together as husband and wife.”

Victoria has said that David is very deep and spiritual and under the tattoo of Victoria’s name on his lower back are the words ‘so that I love and cherish’, written in Latin.

Mel Gibson and Robyn Moore
The couple met in the late 1970s when they were both tenants in the same house in Adelaide. At the time, Robyn was a dental nurse and Mel was an unknown actor.

On June 7, 1980 they married in a Catholic Church in southern Australia. The actor turned film-director of Braveheart and The Passion of Christ has referred to his wife as ‘my Rock of Gibralter, only much prettier’ and has said ‘life is about love and commitment’. The have one daughter, six sons and one grandchild!

It all begins with a proposal. Or does it? What with wedding preparations of my own taking shape for summer 2009 at St Peter’s Italian Church in Clerkenwell, I wanted to find out what were the secrets to a long and happy marriage.
And after reading about the Italian man who was granted an annulment from the Roman Catholic Church after only four months of being wed, on the grounds that ‘his interfering mother-in-law made his life hell’ – I wanted to explore the reasons why many marriages hit the rocks.

Child’s play
After speaking to various people including a marriage counsellor I realise that the foundations for our married lives began when we were children.
Bridie Collins, senior marriage counsellor at Catholic organisation Marriage Care told the Catholic Herald: “How we were cared for does have an impact in our relationship with our partners”.
She explained that as children we witness our parent’s marriage and what we learn from their relationship forms part of our inbuilt operating models.

Dedication
My research revealed that in the secular press there were lots of articles on dating and new romances, even dating while married; but not many on maintaining a marriage for life!
Having just finished the ten-week compulsory marriage course at St Peter’s, I remember the story our priest Padre Carmelo told us of a devoted wife who visited her husband each and every day in hospital despite his zombie-like state. He had suffered a mental break-down due to serious business worries and just sits without acknowledging his loved ones anymore. “That’s true love and dedication,” admired Padre Carmelo.

Friends
Bridie gave other characteristics of the successful marriage: “The ability to adapt and change as the relationship alters is vital. For example, the relationship changes from newlyweds to new parents. You have to accept that it cannot always be ‘my way’ and that compromise is involved.”
Bridie added that friendship and remaining friends throughout the relationship is also important. Also the ability to fight fairly, with respect and trust and without bringing up past issues is very helpful.

Vows
Commitment is another crucial element to the budding marriage. “There’s a lovely saying ‘on a good day I’m committed to you; on a not-so-good day I’m committed to the marriage and on a bad day I’m committed to the vows I made to you’,” Bridie revealed.
Regarding vows, in one lesson during the marriage course, Padre Carmelo asked all us couples to think seriously about the marriage vows we plan to say before God; especially the part ‘in sickness and in health, till death do us part’.

In sickness
A few days after this lesson I interviewed a very sweet lady who unfortunately has MS. She spoke of her deep disappointment with her husband who could not cope with her deteriorating disease and fled the family home, bringing their three teenage children with him! She had to return to her parent’s home where her elderly mother and father do things like cut up her meat for her.

Cry
She told me: “I feel so cheated and rejected by my husband. He has made me so cross. At home I tried the best I could to clean and cook but it got too much and we hired home help. During all this time Graham grew more and more impatient with my clumsiness.
“He continued to shout at me in front of the children and who ever happened to be around when I couldn’t do things. Instead of receiving the love and attention I needed during my illness, Graham has made me feel worse. I often cry.”

Temptation
It was during one of the earlier lessons that Padre Carmelo asked us to get into groups and write down all the different reasons couples divorce. And at the top of each team’s list was infidelity. A few weeks later, my fiance’s parents told us about a friend of theirs who telephoned them in floods of tears because she had just discovered pages and pages of intimate conversation her husband of 15 years had been having via MSN on the family computer with a married woman he had called ‘business partner’!

Caught
Reading through the conversation the mother of two realised that her husband had been having an affair with the woman right under her nose in the family shop.
In the same week my mother had news that a lovely couple we know are having to deal with their son’s separation from his wife.

As time goes by
Apparently he didn’t love his wife anymore and went to live with another woman which the family knows only as Samantha. So two young girls under the age of ten have been left wondering ‘where’s daddy gone?’
Bridie added that all relationships go through tough times and when the romantic, starry-eyed, butterflies-in-the-tummy stage turns to reality couples must work things through, if they do not then problems will occur like growing apart or infidelity or resentment.

One, two, three
However by leaving the relationship when things go wrong and later marrying someone else, Bridie added: “statistics show there are more break-ups in second marriages than first marriages”.
This made me think of John Cleese who is going through his third divorce. He was featured in a newspaper recently because he is one of a growing number of men who is having a hair transplant to cover his balding scalp.

Shouting is communicating
It also made me think of the divorced women featured in a recent Opera Winfrey show who were advocating the Divorce Diet; what these examples screamed to me was ‘why didn’t you make these self improvement changes while you were married?’
Bridie explained why marriages go wrong. “The issues vary but usually it’s down to unresolved conflicts or unmet needs; this leads to distance and not feeling close anymore. In fact at Marriage Care we view it as ‘hopeful’ if we see a couple is still at the shouting stage, at least their communicating” said Bridie.

Spise not Spice!
The marriage counsellor added that we all have needs and these include Social, Physical, Intellectual, Spiritual and Emotional (or SPISE). Bridie said: “The problem is when we look to one person to fill all those needs… one person cannot fill them all for us. For example intellectual needs do not have to be met by our partners, a scientist could be married to hairdresser!”
Bridie revealed the five marriage ‘protector factors’ that One to One, a research organisation with whom Marriage Care works closely, has come up with. These are factors that couples should protect for the survival of their marriage; affection, time together, outside support, sharing feelings and couple identification.

Mirror
This reminded me of a colleague who has been married for five years and said: “Our priest who married us said that the external image we portray to society was just as important as what happens within the relationship.”

1950s
I couldn’t help but wonder, perhaps it is time to look back and take notes on an era when marriages were indeed for life. And many believe the 1950s was the ‘peak years’ for British society; when thoughtfulness for others, decency and strong community ties were nurtured in families.

Pearl
Bridie concluded: “By learning more about each other like when the other needs nurturing and resolving conflicts … it’s like the grit in the oyster that forms the pearl.”
So at the end of it all what I discovered was that the secret to a long and successful marriage was simply… not only enjoying the good times but working through the not-so-good and bad times also.

The day you die; I will die the day afterI will leave you with words my friend’s husband once told her; they, a couple like any other the world over, have had their fair share of ups and downs: “The day you die; I will die the day after.”
This made me think of the Mexican white-fronted parrot which forms a life-long bond with their mate, sharing the responsibility of caring for their young ~ like bereft widowed humans, some parrots will die shortly after their partner does.

Real people, Real events, Retold by someone who was there… …
The five of them arrived on a Saturday. As their hire-car roared up the drive, they were stunned by their surroundings. Curvy, country lanes with fields covering the landscape for as far as the eye could see.
All five were looking forward to a week of sun, horses, home-cooked food and above all - relaxation.
The stone, farmhouse was cute with its courtyard and back-terrace. The kitchen had views overlooking the pool and more fields with scattered, five-foot high hay-bales. The living room was cosy with its fireplace and rustic furniture.
The guys followed
After unpacking the five thought they would take full advantage of the sunshine. The girls put on their bikini’s and headed for the pool. The guys followed.
The afternoon was spent sunbathing. Soon afterwards Greg and his girlfriend Mary arrived. The twins were overjoyed because one of their favourite university mates was going to be sharing a few days with them in the South of France, outside Toulouse in this gorgeous, 18th century farmhouse.
Not forgetting Ralph
That night they all ate outside on the terrace, while they caught up with what was happening in each others’ lives. As midnight approached Nick, the owner of the farmhouse, cracked-open a bottle of champagne because it was Ralph’s 30th birthday.
So the twins (Jay Lo and Sandra) along with Danny, Sandra’s boyfriend, Greg and Mary, Natasha and not forgetting Ralph… took their champagne flutes and walked towards the pool, across the grassy field.
Goodbye Rolling Stones, hello Rolling Hay-bales
“Hey, I’ve gotta great idea! I quite fancy pushing this hay-bale down the hill,” exclaimed Greg. So together with the other guys in the group – he did!
The starry night did nothing to light-up the area. The only way the gang knew what was going-on, was by listening to the sound of the rolling hay- bale, picking up speed as it rolled-along down… until it hit something hard.
“It’s hit a fence,” said Danny. So in high spirits they went to bed. The following day, Sandra went off bright and early for a horse-riding lesson, while the others went for a coffee in Alban, a nearby town.
Danny asked for a cappuccino but was given an espresso. But his polite, English upbringing prevented him from making a fuss.
Castle
In the afternoon they decided to walk to a nearby castle, which Nick part-owned. It was perched on a hill in the distance and looked enchanting. Ten minutes into the walk Jay Lo’s foot started playing-up (she had broken a month earlier) and so the girls accompanied her back and they decided to take the car to the castle instead. The guys continued the walk through streams and forests. However when they got there it was all fenced off.
Dr Evil
That night back in the house, Marie-Christine served them her usual four-course meal inside because it was chilly. It was then, that the gang met the other guests who would be sharing dinner with them each night for the rest of their holiday.
Dr Evil and his family of evil doctors (his wife and his daughter were also doctors). “Good evening, you know this place really reminds m of our holiday in Madagascar, do you remember pet?..”
From that night on, the seven 30-somethings would have to sit through tales of the unexpected as Dr Evil bored the living day-lights out of them.
Big Bad Bob
But Greg was having none of it. He began to tell the dinner party about Sandra’s rendez-vous avec Nick’s chien. “Big Bob pounced on Sandra’s back today and began humping with a view of relieving himself, it would seem!” he told the group.
It had happened when the boys decided to investigate the previous night’s damage, when Greg pushed the hay-bale, causing it to roll down the sloping field. Contrary to belief, it hadn’t hit a fence but a tree.
The girls watched-on, as the guys attempted to push the bale of hay away from the tree and back up the hill. It was tough.
Now apparently, because Big Bob the French dog had been witness to local children getting told-off for messing around with hay, he got all excited and began humping the first thing that got in his way… and in this case it was poor Sandra.
That story soon stunned the icy Evils into silence. Greg’s cunning plan had worked.
Crosses
The following day the gang headed for the cathedral town of Albi. This was a bigger town than Alban, with lots of shops. But being a Monday morning – they were all shut.
The seven wondered around the Cathedral of St Cecile and some lit a candle. The gothic exterior reminded Jay Lo of Barcelona’s famous cathedral.
They learnt that the cathedral was home to gigantic mural depicting the last judgement, which was painted by unknown Flemish artists in around 1477. They ate pizza in a piazza, which reminded Natty (Natasha’s nick name) of Rome. However Natty was soon christened with the new nickname of Ratty after developing flu-like symptoms. From then on she began her love affair with French pharmacies. Wherever they went in their hire-car, that green flashing cross became her saviour.
Cheese and tampons
That night it was Greg and Mary’s last night. The twins couldn’t help laughing at the dinner table when they told everyone how Greg got impatient while following Danny in the car on the way to Albany that day. A little, old lady crossing the road was taking her time. Jay Lo continued: “The only thing the old lady must have seen staring back at her from our car was Greg’s white face, almost touching the windscreen shouting ‘allez! hurry up and go buy your cheese and tampons’!”
Hole-in-the-ground toilets
Another story which got them giggling was their experience at a bar in Alban the previous afternoon. Because they had a number of hours to kill, the seven had a couple of beers at bar in the nearby town of Alban. However, they were amused when Sandra came back from ‘the ladies room’ looking paler than she did after the whole Bob-gate affair.
“There’s no toilet. You’ve got to do it on the floor, in a hole,” she said frowning. Not even the bar’s manky cat, which purred its way up to Sammy could cheer her up.
Engagement
Towards the end of the meal that Monday night, the final evening in the farmhouse for Greg and Mary, the racism row erupted. Mary thought she heard Dr Evil’s wife mummer something anti-complimentary about Egyptians.
When Greg saw his girlfriend of six-years upset, he went over to the ‘culprit’ and asked her to apologise to his girl friend. Dr Evil’s wife refused, because as far as she was concerned, she had been speaking to her daughter.
Then quite unexpectantly, about ten minutes after the incident, which wasn’t too dissimilar to the big brother racism row, Geoff announced his engagement to Mary.
He had proposed the night before arriving at the farmhouse but the married-couple-to-be didn’t want to overshadow Ralph’s 30th birthday by telling everyone when they got there.
By Tuesday morning Greg and Mary had left, with hang-overs no doubt because for the second time in two days Nick dug out from the cellar, a bottle of champagne to celebrate the engagement.
“Do you mind frozen croque monsieurs?”
It rained for the rest of that day. So the original five decided to visit the cute town of Ambialet, which was perched either side of the River Tarn.
Once there, they crossed the bridge and found a petite little place where they ordered some food. A little lady emerged from the empty café and gave the biggest smile the group had ever seen.
“I can tell you what we have,” she attempted. And as soon as they heard ‘croque monsieurs’, they made it clear with gestures that was what they wanted.
The lady went away and a few moments later she returned asking: “Do you mind frozen croque monsieurs?”

THE courage displayed by a group of Calabrian teenagers in challenging one the world’s most lucrative and dangerous mafia gangs has inspired an Italian TV star to write a book about their bravery.
Michele Cucuzza presents La Vita in Diretta on Rai Uno and his new book is called “Ma il Cielo e’ Sempre Piu’ Blu”. It talks about the notorious Calabrian mafia known as the ‘Ndrangheta, giving the youngsters a platform to vent their fury.
The Calabrian crime syndicate is thought to be bigger than Sicily’s Cosa Nostra and is responsible for making Calabria - Europe’s biggest drug trafficking ground.
Anger
Anger amongst locals reached boiling point in October 2005 when Francesco Fortugno, 54, vice president of the regional assembly was shot five times as he stood in line to vote in the mob-ridden town of Locri. The murder was thought to be a warning by the ‘Ndrangheta that no one was safe, particularly politicians like Fortugno who had ideas about changing the status quo.
A couple of weeks after the killing, thousands of youngsters from as far as Milan joined their Calabrian peers in a rally in Locri and stood behind a giant banner reading: (E Adesso Ammazzateci Tutti) “And now kill us all”.
“This was a direct challenge to the ‘Ndrangheta,” said Aldo Pecora, a 20-year-old law student who features in Cucuzza’s book. Mr Pecora, who wants to be a judge one-day, was instrumental in the protest march, which followed Fortugno’s death. He was the one who thought of the courageous “kill us all” banner-slogan.
He added: “This is our SOS to Italy and the world. The honest people living here are fighting a silent war. Calabria is no different to Afghanistan and Lebanon and this civil war is happening across the south. It’s happening in Sicily, Puglia, Bari and Campania.”
Unsolved murders
According to statistics, 32 murders remain unsolved in Calabria since the beginning of 2005 and this is something Mr Pecora has a problem with. “This is an emergency. If the 32 deaths all happened in one day, it would be classed as a massacre,” he said.
Mr Pecora would like the state of Italy to send honest magistrates, judges, police and politicians but the law-abiding, like Fortugno, live a riskier life in Calabria.
The answer according to Mr Pecora is to begin by changing the mentality of “raccomandazione” which is commonplace in Italy’s south. This is the culture of “recommendation”, which guarantees someone benefiting from something over another person.
“Racommendazione”
Mr Pecora gave a few examples: “If you have a relative working in the local hospital you can be sure you’ll have a bed. Or if you know the fruit and vegetable vendor, then instead of waiting to be served you can just drive up to the shop or stall in your car for example and be assured special treatment. It just encourages this bad behaviour.”
Cucuzza
Mr Cucuzza went back to his street reporting days and spent last summer in Locri to interview the teenagers. He said: “I thought they were so unbelievably courageous and decided that I had to do something. So that’s when I got the idea of meeting them and of writing this book to make their voice heard.”
He added: “It’s a very, very serious problem and the youngsters hope to win this fight against the mafia. They are like any other group of Italian youngsters but all they want, is to live in a secure and safe land without the ‘Ndrangheta.
“They don’t want to leave their home in order to find work but that is the situation. In Locri almost every teenager has left to study at a northern Italian University. But they would love to stay and build their future in the place where they were children.”
Brave
Another brave person featured in Cucuzza’s book is Maria Grazia Lagana’, Fortugno’s widow. Ms Lagana’ is a deputy for the republic of Italy within the country’s Margherita and Ulivo party and she agrees that it is dangerous being a politician in Calabria, especially if you want to fight corruption.
But she doesn’t want to give up the battle and give-in to the ‘Ndrangheta. She thinks the fight must go on, with means given by the Government. “It’s a big halt to the economy,” she added. Despite being robbed of her husband and having to watch her two children, Giuseppe, 24 and Anna, 19 pained with loss, Lagana’ still has hope for the future. “I really hope one day democracy will prevail in Calabria and illegal goings-on are stamped out,” she said. She praised her husband in his role as a father and described him as being very close to his children, who loved him very much.
Progress
In March 2006, nine people were arrested in connection with the Fortugno crime including the suspected killer. In June, a father and son who both worked in a Calabrian hospital were arrested, believed to have ordered the killing.
Mr Pecora and his companions who form part of the protest group have set up a website www.ammazzatecitutti.org which displays the names of all those killed by various mafia factions since 1893.
Ma il Cielo e’ Sempre Piu’ Blu can be bought from the following web-sites www.ibs.it or www.bol.it

A true story…
This site exists because of the kindness of one man, Alun Hill. When I asked the price for setting it up he responded: “Just pass on the love; help someone else out.”
I nearly choked on my Diet Coke. “Are you sure Alun? But you’ve spent your time helping me out. I don’t understand?!”

He chuckled and went on to explain that he’s learnt so much technical stuff about the internet and made money from it that it’s only right he should pass that on for free. “Besides,” he said, “people have helped me out in the past so now it’s time to repay the favour - but to someone else.”

Well! You could have knocked me down with a feather. “Alun!” I exclaimed, “I do believe there’s an Alun-shaped hole in heaven waiting for you to fill it.”
“Hey don’t wish me dead too early Natasha!” Alun said. I responded: “Of course not! I need a caricature of myself for the site, know anyone who’ll do it for free?”

The last part was a joke. Alun went on to say that passing on kindness for nothing is an actual phenomena happening all over the world. And each time it happens the receiver usually feels so touched that he or she naturally passes it on; creating a kind of kindness chain.

It got me pondering… in a city as fast-paced as London, where people run down the streets and jog along the corridors of the Tube not necessarily because they’re late for something but because they’ve just got used to it - was there still time for random acts of kindness?! And who was I going to “pass on the love” to?

When was the last time someone did something for you… for n o t h i n g? I’ve decided to write a feature on the subject. Contact me: nat@natashasnotebook.com