This is my notebook.  It is not all of me, for no notebook could ever contain all that I am, but it is part of me…parts that I can share…and maybe even some I wouldn’t mean to…if I knew what you’d think of me.  But I don’t know and that frees me to be me, and that is a good thing.

I will share my thoughts with you, my travels and adventures, my favorite and most dreaded things.  I will share who I am and who I hope to be, what I’ve done and plan to do.  Sometimes I will be like a child, seeking advice and a new perspective on the world.  Sometimes I will be your older sister or dearest friend, saying what needs to be said, even when you don’t want to hear it.  I hope we laugh together…and maybe even shed a few tears that others might not understand.  I will let you in, though I may not even know who you are; and I hope…I hope that you will value what you see, for it is part of me.  My thoughts may not always line up with yours or even with other thoughts that I have shared.  The mind is a funny thing that way.  You may not always like me.  I know that I don’t like everything about even my most favorite people in the world, but I love them and I respect them, and I don’t let the things I don’t like about them keep me from seeing how great they truly are.

It’s not easy to let you in.  Sometimes it may seem like it is as I share myself with you.  It’s not.  Maybe, it will become easier in time.  That is why I will keep this little notebook, so I can write my thoughts with less sensor than if I tried to write to you directly.  But then I’ll just leave my notebook here for you to read and understand…and hopefully enjoy.  Perhaps it will become a sort of letters with you, as you respond to what I’ve shared.  Perhaps you will not want to share that part of yourself with me.  Either way, I am here…keeping this little notebook of ideas and inspirations, hopes and fears, challenges and adventures, projects, recipes, stories, thoughts and all of the things that a day and a lifetime are made up of…and you are welcome to read it.

~ Natasha

 

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